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Mayor Miller to appoint Citizens Task Force to meet with leaders of vicious dog gangs

Listener: Ron
Category: Lubbock City Politics
Date: 20 Mar 2008
Time: 15:57:17 -0700
Remote Name: 67.135.7.61

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Listener Ron sends us this parody press release, which is not far off the mark:

City of Lubbock
PRESS RELEASE
March 20, 2008

Mayor Miller to appoint Citizens Task Force to meet with leaders of vicious dog gangs.

LUBBOCK, TEXAS (RNS) - Another vicious dog attack yesterday has sparked Mayor David Miller to appoint a citizens task force to meet with leaders of the dog gangs throughout Lubbock in hopes to curtail the violence. "We have obviously done something to upset these dogs and this is the way they think is best to get back at us" Miller said during a morning press conference. The group is scheduled to meet with Mister of the Lakeridge Labradors and Remo of the West Side Rotweillers.

While only one attack has happened on the "turf" of these particular two dog gangs, Miller believes these particular gangs can influence other gangs across the city in a positive light. "At one time Mister was being recruited by the Avenue P Pit Bulls, so he can really shed on the issue" Miller added.

The meeting between the dog gang leaders and the citizens task force will take place sometime over the weekend at an undisclosed location. "We just simply have to keep it a secret until some resolutions come about...the last thing you want are the Shadow Hills Shit-zsu's showing up at a meeting like this one." stated Kevin Overstreet, city of Lubbock's animal services director.

More to follow as this story develops...